I was on my way to pick Ella up at VBS today, and started to panic. Just a little. I was on my way to a different church in the area and realized that I could run into people from our church that had caused it's demise. Yes it is a small town, and even smaller churched group.
I was thinking how would I respond to that question now? How are you? Back in January, I remember thinking, "please don't ask me." I didn't want to respond to them harshly, or bawl my eyes out on a Sunday morning. I also remember, "please ask me," I wanted to know that they actually cared about me the way that I did them. I would like to think that God has brought us through the worst of times, but only He knows. Today I would have to say "I am well." I have 4 healthy, beautiful children, a man that loves me, and the sun is shining.
There's still tears when I consider how life now is not what we expected it would be, and the friendships that are gone. Next month marks 6 years in Utah, 6 years of trials, 6 years of growth, 6 years of being a stay at home mom, 6 years of sorrow, 6 years of leaning fully on God, 6 years of God's grace in our lives. We expect to "know fully" how God is using this time in our lives, but for now, being patient in Him is where we stand.
I am so thankful for the community that I have found here - with you. Some of you I know better than others, but yet I know that I have a friend in you. Thank You. It seems so minor, my blog, posting what I've been sewing, and pictures of my kids, but being creative has been so therapeutic for me. And finding friends where I am, has been so necessary. (I have been home without a car for the most part, Joe had been working from home and sharing a vehicle was the more financially responsible thing to do.) And I have been on Facebook reconnecting with friends from college and high school that I never would have imagined connecting with again. Remember how I said "I started my blog to connect with others and promote my etsy shop?" Well I still haven't sold a ton on esty, but I have totally connected with others, and I am a blog believer! We do have friends here, it is just different when we see them on occasion instead of weekly at church, everyone has spread out to other churches.
I pray that you are blessed - whenever you read this.